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I spent many years of my life searching for love. A love that I could trust and depend upon. My knight and shining armor to rescue me upon a white horse and carry me away from all the pains of this world.
I search in men, drugs, alcohol, organizations of religion and non religion only to find myself feeling more lost and confused of where is my place in this world.
I would like to tell you I found it here in this world or deep inside myself but I didn't. I searched the world and only found more heartache and pain.
I was running from my past and terrified of my future. I had no peace in my life and every time I had thought I had joy seems like it was short lived.
It didn't matter if I was single or married, rich or poor, I was just miserable.
I began to search for what was missing, what was broken, and I had no joy in my life.
Love isn't something that you find. Love is something that finds you when you least expect it. This type of love can reach down into the depths of hell and deliver your soul from this place of darkness.
A love that would save me, change me and make me worthy.
I began to search for love and in my searching I found that God is love. I than wanted to know who is this God that is love?
I wasn't talking about the God of religions of men but the God who created me, adopted me and loved me.
Who is he? What is he? Where is he?
In my journey of searching for love. I was reaching my last rope of hanging on to this life.
I was suicidal and didn't want to live like this anymore. There has to be someone who loves me.
I cried day and night wanting to know love and feel loved.
I decided to take my life and I heard the voice of love speak to me. I heard it, I felt it, I knew it.
I knew the voice of love and it called me his own. I knew it was the one true God who loved me, created me, and died for me.
I asked f you love me do much, why did you send another to die for me? He said "I didn't it was me." I than knew my Father who loved me so much that he died for me. He was not a god of religion but the one true God the Creator who became his creation in order to save it because he loved us.
His name is JESUS.
He is my Creator, my Lord, my God, my Saviour & my Father.
I've been redeemed, renewed and received by Him.
I'm no longer search for love cause I have found HIM!
FALL IN LOVE WITH JESUS!
Love in Christ Jesus,
JESUS IS LOVE
Jesus comes immediately after the tribulation,
Do you know this devine revelation?
He said it in Matthew twenty-four,
Have you not read this before?
Paul said it in first Corinthians fifthteen,
Have you read it, or not ever seen?
He said it again in First Thessalonians,
And also in Second Thessalonians.
Peter said it in his second book,
Don't believe it? Go take a look,
John said in Revelation Nineteen,
Believe it, for it is written.
Jesus prayed that we be not take out of the world,
In John Seventeen, so we would not be fooled,
If you're truly of God, you would believe,
Hear the words of Lord and be not deceived.
Copyright ©2004 Ren Baer
I see you so clear and you see me too
We laugh and smile alot you and me
Making plans that can never be.
Your always seem to be working on plans
Like Noah building and working with his hands
You always look happy and with a smile.
I always want you to stay awhile.
I am always sad when I wake
Knowing your memory will it take
Searching at times for your face
Remembering you stood in this very place.
I keep what you gave me in God's book
And once in a while I take a look
Some will disagree and some will oppose
When I remember the now faded yellow rose.
Copyright ©2004 Ren Baer
Sometimes I desire for this world to stop,
To stand on the edge of a mountaintop,
To somehow leave this wicked place,
And before you stand and see your face.
Fighting the lies to stand for what is true,
Desiring to be only with you,
O Lord I hope you understand,
I am just a human made by your hand.
You know my heart I dont have to explain,
I know why you died and why you came,
You know I will lose everything I got,
Because you have I only sought.
How long O Lord my soul crieth out?
Before you come with a shout!
Help me make it through another day,
When I cant see always be my way.
Help me, I cry unto you, the Lifter of my head,
For you our the God of the living not of the dead,
For now I will try to endure every test,
Until my soul one day You will lie to rest.
Copyright ©2004 Ren Baer
Trust is something very hard for us who been through any type of abuse. A broken promise can feel like a knife to the heart because we finally decide to let someone in only to have them break your heart. Our human nature is to feel love for others. And when they have hurt us we take it personally.
It make make you question what is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Why aren't I good enough? This are all very good questions. And it is normal to have these feelings. Being angry at someone who has done you wrong is not sin. It is what you do with that anger that it can become sin.
He who angers you controls you
We have to be honest of how we feel. We must do this in a way that does not hurt anyone, including ourselves. And we have to pray for them every time we feel anger rise up in us so it does not put us back in bondage.
We must seek God and see if this feeling is from the now or is it Satan trying to trigger something up from our past? This could be the case when dealing with abandonment issues.
Once we have identified the source then we can deal with it and overcome it. It is very important to destroy anger at it root so it does not turn into bitterness and resentment.
When we seek within ourselves under the anger we usually find the true feelings of hurt and rejection from someone we love and care about.
Are you Angry at Someone?
Ps. 37:8, Prov. 15:1-2, Ecc. 7:9, Prov. 16:32, Prov. 25:28, Prov. 14:17, Prov. 14:29
Are you Consumed with Hate?
Prov. 10:12, Luke 6:42, 1 John 4:21, 1 John 2:9-10, Eph. 4:31-32, Prov. 15:17
Do you have Revengeful Thoughts?
Prov. 19:11, Rom. 12:19, Matt. 5:39, Luke 17:3, Rom. 12:14, Eph. 4:32, Rom. 12:17
The hardest thing for me was the battle in my mind that I had no control over. My thoughts seem to be all over the place jumping from one bad memory to the other. I seemed to be always in the past in my mind and never could see a future.
After continue prayer and studying the word of God for almost 20 years, I began to realize that God's thoughts, mind, and way is his Word. As I studied his Word, daily, the Holy Spirit would bring Christ's words to my mind and comfort me and help me to cast down these bad memories.
You first have to seek God through prayer and have the desire to have your mind renewed. It has to be cleared out of all the junk from over the years. Once this takes place them new pure thoughts can come in.
When I share about my past in order to help someone else. I make sure I am being led by the Spirit. My past does not control me because I am not in bondage to it anymore. I belong to the Lord.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Is. 55:8-9
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Mat 22:37
And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid. Mar 5:15
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. Mar 12:30
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. Rom 8:6-9
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Rom 12:2
And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; Eph 4:23
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Phl 2:5
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, Phl 3:13
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phl 4:8
Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Pet 1:13
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Ch. 10:5
Gen 2:8,15 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
We see here that the Lord God planted this beautiful garden. And He placed "man" there to dress it and to keep it. Look at it this way, the Lord planted "good seed" in the beginning. These "good seed" is the children of the kingdom, according to Matthew 13: 37-43 He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world. The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
We see from these verse who the "good seed" is. It is the children of the kingdom. But we see the "enemy" which is "the Devil" came in and sowed in the wicked [tares] amoungst the "good seed."
Notice in Genesis that the Lord God put "man" in the Garden to dress it and keep it.
Let's look a little deeper...Who did Mary think Jesus was when she saw him outside of the tomb after His resurrection?....A Gardener!
Jhn 20:15 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
We are the "Garden" and Jesus is our "Gardener" of our hearts, minds and souls. The Lord placed the Son of man in our hearts to keep it and dress it.
We are not the reapers, according to Matthew 13 the angels are the reapers. It is not our place to "keep it, dress it,or reap our own gardens, nor anyone elses. We might root up the "wheat with the tares."
Mat 13:28-29 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
We need to let the Lord decide on how our garden will grow and as well as other's gardens. How is your Garden looking? Are you letting the One capable and willing, and able to do the gardening, do it? Only One is able to do this, and that One is Jesus. If we could of done this ourselves, there would of been no need for the "Gardener" to come.
The Gardener knows what to do, He knows what to plant, what we needs, how much water, and Son light, we need. He has our gardens all under control and does not need our help.
We sometimes will try to be the "gardener" of our own lives or the lives of others, and the Lord will step back and smile and let us do what we will because He is a gentleman. And when we are done rooting up everything. He will come when we ask Him to and clean up the damage we have done to ourselves and to others as well. And He will plant more seeds.
When you plant an actually garden, it is not possible to see what is good seed and what is weeds, until it begin to grow and blossom. Then at the "harvest' the Gardener ofcourse will commanded to the reapers what to keep what is good and what throw out,what is bad.
The Lord told us that the "wheat" [children of the kingdom] will be gathered into barns [Father" house ,the Kingdom] and the tares [weeds] will be cast into the fire and burned up.
Again I ask you "How does your Garden look?" Are you stepping back and trusting the Lord with your garden? He is perfect for the job and is able and capable to finish the work He has begun. Allow the Spirit of the Lord move freely through your garden. Allow Him cultivate you, mold and shape your garden. Allow the Spirit of the Lord to walk through the midst of your garden in the cool of the day.
The Lord has such a beautiful plan for your garden. And when others see you they will desire what you have. They will desire to know who your "Gardener" is.
They will see the beautiful "fruit" that you have and desire them. The Fruit being from the same Spirit of the Lord is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.
This is what others will see growing in your garden. It will be encouraging, edifying, uplifting, pleasing and desire to the sight of others.
How is your garden looking?
Hire the Gardener today!
Spreading good seed upon the earth
Knowing to Him the garden is much worth
Sending the Son to give it Light
Leaving His Spirit to give it sight.
Planting beautiful and desirable fruit
Growing in good ground and nothing can uproot
Watching over the garden night and day
Standing in the gap to always pray.
The Gardener sends rain upon all the living seeds
And watching come up some but weeds
Patiently waits as a garden keeper
Soon He will send in the reapers.
Smiling as each one blossoms and grow
As His Spirit walks through they glow
Tenderly caring for every little bud
Carefully protecting it from the flood.
The garden is so young and tender
The Gardener's hands He uses as a mender
Making sure nothing can harm nor hender
Trusting in Him for He is the Gardener.
For many years before I came to really know Jesus. I had heard about Him. I knew what others told me about Jesus. I knew how he came here to earth in Mary's womb. I knew He died for all the world and rose on the third day. I knew of all the miracles He did. I knew He healed the sick and raised the dead. I knew John 3:16. Jesus was to me, people I knew, friend. It was like if I told you about a dear friend of mine. And then you overheard someone speaking about this friend. And you speak up and say "Oh, I have a friend that knows him." Many live their lives only hearing about Jesus Christ. They may know many that know Him. They hear Him spoken about many places they go. They see and even hear many sermons about Jesus. Many try to get close to the "friend of the FRIEND" thinking it gives them access, so, they think...
"My friend's Friend"
Many years ago a meet a woman at a prayer meeting. She invited me to a bible study. I remember thinking "she is sure happy." I did not think much about her outside appearance. She smiled way to much, I thought. She was about sixty years old, slim, with gray hair. And she wore dresses all the time. She was always speaking of a Friend of hers. She went from place to place telling others of her Friend. I would hang out with her, going to million dollar houses for coffee and prayers and bible studies. All she did no matter if we were on the telephone, at lunch, at her house, my house, or anywhere. She always spoke about her Friend. I thought to myself this women lives in a fantasy world or this friend sticks close to her, than a brother.
As the years went by knowing her. She would always give me alot of things which her Friend had said many years ago. She talked about Him and to Him alot. I would be losing my mind at times and she would smile and tell me more about her Friend and what He had said. No matter what problem I was having that day, she would speak of her Friend. This woman lived, breathed, and thought of no one else but her Friend.
The day came when I got very sick and my friend was there, telling me about her Friend. I drew my last breath and my body ceased to exist. I knew about going and staying with my friend's Friend. But I also knew about my friend's enemy, as well. All the years passed before my eyes, of my past. The moment came where I was standing in brightness. I don't know what else to call it. I could hear a powerful voice as one stepped forward. I leaned over and asked the person next to me, "Who is that sitting upon the throne?" They replied with a smile "That is my Friend!" I looked at her and realized it was my friend that I knew for years.
When her name was called she ran to her Friend with tears of joy. I was remembering everything she had told me about her Friend. It was like I was fixing to take a test and I wanted to give all the right answers. I saw my friend embrace her Friend. And she went to live with Him.
The time came and I heard my name called. I was scared and walked slowly before my friend's Friend. He looked at me and I did Him as well. He asked if I knew who He was? I said ," Yes, I have heard about you, my friend spoke of you often." He said "But do you know Me?" I said, "Well, I know you came to die for the world and rose again. He said again, "Do you know Me?" I said, I know you done alot of miracles. He said again, "Do you know Me?" I said to Him, I know someone who knows you. I saw Him begin to weep as He said to me,"I am sorry, but I never knew you!" I realized at that very moment what my friend was trying to share with me about her Friend. I realize knowing someone who knew Him does not give you access to where He is. I realized at that very second, I was to know Him personally. And how many chances I was given to know Him as my Friend. I realized I had rejected Him and did not try to meet Him.
Here I had went to hundred of churches, bible studies, and hung out with many that knew Him. But I myself did not know Him. Today was the saddest day of my life and His. To hear the words come from my friend's Friend's mouth, "I never knew you" pierced my soul like a knife. As they led me the opposite way as my friend went, I thought to myself where will I go, who will I stay with? Then I looked and saw my friend's enemy who I knew very well. Better than my friend's Friend. I did not want to go with him but it was too late.
I had already lived my life and I can not go back and change what I had done. Now I am forever in this place and now I know my friend's Friend. In this torment and pain, and lonliness and shame. I think about my Friend's Friend often. I tell others about my friend's Friend. I can never leave this place and be with Him. I talk to Him, but He does not hear me. I scream and cry out to Him, but He never comforts me in this place. I had made the wrong choice and now I will be here for an eternity. Nothing but darkness, saddness, screams, tears, and pain all around me of many others that did not know my friend's Friend either. Then I realized, "THIS IS THE SECOND DEATH!"
Let me introduce you to my Friend! His Name is Jesus Christ!
What you read above is a true story of when I meet my friend, Velma. Only difference is I know her friend Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I did not reject Him. I want to introduce you to my Friend Jesus, so you will not have to wait until the day of Judgment to meet Him.
If you have not ever meet Jesus..My friends, "Meet Him, today!"
Copyright ©2004 Ren Baer
Ren Baer is a Christian (1994), wife, mother of three children and grandmother of ten grandchildren who loves to write poetry, short stories, quotes & book for the glory of the Lord Jesus.